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John Wayne's Holster: Father of the Year
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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Father of the Year

I'm Not A Real Father, But I Play One on TV

I was surfin’ the web this afternoon trying to catch up on the news. I stumbled upon a headline in the New York Daily News which quoted country music has-been Billy Ray Cyrus saying that he was “surprised” by the photo of his daughter, Miley Cyrus' (aka Hannah Montana), that recently appeared in Vanity Fair.

The provocative photo portrays the 15 year old Cyrus apparently topless and wrapped in a silk bed sheet.

Although one has come to expect images such as these depicting celebrities in suggestive poses that reveal their soft-core charms, one must not forget that Cyrus is a child. What makes it worse is that her father and her manager were on the set the day of the shoot. Proud papa Billy Ray even appears with his daughter in some of the photos.

When asked about the controversial photos during a Today Show interview, her father stated, “I wasn’t there at the time”. Referring to the subsequent publication of the sleezy photo, he added, "I was surprised when I saw it ... but, hey, that's life. Stuff happens."

He sounds real concerned, doesn’t he….

There are two questions that immediately come to mind.

First, what exactly were you surprised about Billy Ray? Annie Leibovitz was shooting the photos for crying out loud. She is well known for taking controversial photos of scantily clad celebs. She took the now famous “last photo” of John Lennon (Rolling Stone, Jan, 1981) appearing naked and clinging on to Yoko Ono, the infamous photo of a naked and pregnant Demi Moore (Vanity Fair, Aug, 1991), and more recently photos of Angelina Jolie naked in the bath tub, along with nude shots of Scarlett Johansen and Kiera Knightly (all in Vanity Fair, Feb, 2006). And in case you didn’t know, that’s the same Vanity Fair in which your daughter’s photos were to appear.


Second, why weren’t you on the set for the entire photo shoot? Annie Liebovitz was shooting the photos for crying out loud (see above). You were apparently there long enough to have your own photo taken in the embrace of your daughter. I guess once you got your own free promo, you didn’t have time to hang around.

Look dude, you had your shot at fame with “Achy Breaky". Your 15 minutes was up along time ago. Now you are pimping your daughter to promote yourself on your second lap around the track. You don’t seem to be the least bit worried that your 15 year old little girl is being marketed as a lap dance.

What kind of message are your trying to send her? Whatever it is, it seems like she is receiving it loud and clear! In case you didn't know, there are already revealing photos of Miley in her underwear floatin’ around the web. I also found this one. And this one. She apparently took some of them herself. And while were on the subject, you might as well know about these pics too. Here’s one of her playing tonsil hockey with a gal pal. And here’s another charming one taken after a few beers.

Sadly, Miley seems to be well on her way to becoming the next Paris Hilton, or Britney Spears. How long will it be until we get a glimpse of “Sasquatch” when she is getting out of a limo? When can we expect the first trip to the trendy and fashionable rehab? But like you said, “…hey, that's life. Stuff happens.

So... I guess that’s okay with you, as long as it helps sell your CDs. And it looks like its working too. I just checked Amazon and I see your Greatest Hits (er, Hit) - CD has shot up the sales charts and is now ranked at a towering #139,147.

Way to go dad!!!


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